Social Maladjustment

   Currently listening to: i'm so tired... - Lauv, Troye Sivan

    I was scrolling through Twitter when I came across this tweet that really made me think.

As someone who got into their first serious relationship at 23, I feel that I have a good amount to add to this conversation. Aside from feeling disgust at the comments left on the original tweeter's post, I felt a sense of relief at seeing my thoughts written in such a clear way. I wholeheartedly agree with both people's opinions. 

   Some people tried to make an argument about this thought process being unfair to aromantic people, but in all honestly, this is a Cinderella situation - if the shoe doesn't fit, don't wear it. Obviously, this doesn't apply to people who have no desire for romantic relationships. 

    25 is a quarter of the way through your life,  assuming that the average person will live to 100 years old, which a lot of people don't - you don't know when a day will be your last, and I cannot fathom being a quarter or maybe even halfway through my life and, as a person wanting a long-term relationship, never having one. 

    One of the reasons I am so grateful that I had my first serious relationship and heartbreak before my frontal lobe fully developed is because I went through the start of my twenties with the fear of dealing with my first heartbreak whilst paying bills and having a full-time job (omg can you imagine???). This fear soon became intense before it simply went away, and in allowing myself to relax, I soon found my first person. 

    By the time most people are 25, they have gotten tattoos, piercings, finished school, gone through a multitude of jobs, lived on their own, traveled around, and passed through groups of friends. Any combination of these things proves that you are evolving and growing at the right speed, but the concept of living through these and some other crazy events but never having been in a serious relationship is indicative of a sort of social failing. 

    

    And it, regretfully, is a generational issue. Your grandmothers and grandfathers didn't have these issues; neither did your parents - or at least it wasn't as common as it is now. Back then, you were considered weird if you didn't have something romantic going on after the age of 15. While times have changed, and that was also indicative of the culture of being married with children by the time you're 23 (which I'm really happy we've made less normal as a society), the reasoning for this issue being considered weird hasn't. 

    It is no secret that the introduction of the internet and social media at such a young age for this generation has messed up how we socialize with each other, bringing internet terms to the real world or even having a hard time talking to people outside your phone, and we see it the most with romantic relationships. The influx of Gen Z kids who have never been in a relationship and don't even know how to talk to people is baffling. 

    But we can't only blame the internet. This is a societal issue as a whole: the lack of 3rd places, the lack of teen clubs, the lack of good adult clubs, and hobbies and interests being too expensive for the average person have a big part to play in this.  The rise of redpilled podcasts, everyone wanting to be chased but no one wanting to do the chasing, and a lack of chivalry all have a part to play!

    But society is always going to have issues; we as a generation cannot keep pointing issues out and not doing anything to change them. Go out!  Go up to a random person at a library or a concert and be respectful and strike up a conversation. Go to concerts, LEAVE YOUR DAMN HOUSE! In experiencing life, you will experience people. Go someplace that "isn't your scene" and see what you get out of it. You get turned down a few times? Better luck next time! Get over yourself and let it slide off your back; go up to the next person, and you'll forget all about the last. Get used to rejection and be respectful to all, and you will wish you did it sooner!

    And honestly, I could take my own advice. As someone who likes people but is never seeking a relationship or anything casual, sometimes you gotta do stuff for the plot and see what happens - you might get 100% out of something you thought would be 50%. When you learn to make friends, you will learn to date. Stop socially failing - pop your shit!

Places to go to meet people:

Bookstores

Cafes

Libraries

Parks

Skate rinks

Roller rinks

Pools

Movies

Clubs

Friends Parties

Theaters

Literally anywhere with people

Here's a challenge: Go somewhere that interests you and scan the crowd. If you see someone with something you like on, something you've read, or someone who just looks cool. Go up to them and try to be their friend (and maybe more ;) ).

Some opening lines:

"Hey, I love your board. Where's it from?"

"Omg, have you read that book? What did you think?"

"Hey, I think you're cute. Can I get your number?"

"Hey, I think you're cute. Wanna get my number?"

 (or ask for IG and get the number later, but make sure u get the number!!!!)

"Have you read this? The movie's pretty good; we should see it at (insert place here) later."
"Can you help me? I seem to have lost my number. Can I get yours instead?"

(Sometimes a cheesy pickup line works. Trust me.)

AND BOOOOOM you got yourself a date. Or not...and if not, ONTO DA NEXT!

Good luck!

☆ stay cool, cool girls!☆

xoxo,

eternalcoolgirl ☆